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Tere’s Blog.

Listen, this is what I have to say…

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

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Visiting Dalkey

A walk through the history of Dalkey.

By Teresa Fernandez

A small village in the South of Dublin, enchanted with history and lore that captivates the hearts of those who come to visit. Its mesmerizing views of landscapes and medieval castles, still standing today, evokes many seductive stories.

From the Mesolithic age, through the passing of the Vikings to today’s diverse town with a variety of venues including multicultural restaurants, pubs and cafes and art galleries. This medieval village and its picturesque sights makes it an exceptional place to visit.

Origins

The history of Dalkey starts on the Dalkey Island, also Deilginis, means Thorn Island, the name was later changed to Dalk-Ei by the Vikings. Extensive archaeological excavations have taken place since 1950s, which thanks to its uninhabited conditions traces of earlier history has been preserved.

According to archaeologists, the island was first occupied during the Mesolithic and Neolithic age, where traces of artefacts, such as beaker pottery and flints, were found from these periods, following by bronze age fragments of metalwork later discovered during these excavations, including burials sites dating from the 6th and 11th century.

Dalkey, originally a Viking settlement, was a very important port during the middle ages. In the early 900s the Vikings came to Dalkey, exploiting the Island as a holding site for slaves, the trade of slaves was a very profitable business during that time.

Long after the establishment of the Anglo-Norman and during the 13th and early 14th century Dalkey became well-known and the perfect place for merchants to transport their cargos such as wine, salt, and spices.

Dalkey continued to be a thriving and active port up to the late 1500s. Seven castles were built to protect goods carried by ships before their dispatchment to Dublin. Goat’s Castle and Archbold’s Castle are the only two remaining from the original seven castles, the former, dates back to the 15th century, it is still intact and used today as the Town Hall, the latter, also located on the main road of the town. When the port of Dublin was built through the 1600s, Dalkey town became obsolete for merchants and by 1630, the church of St Begnet in Dalkey Island was abandoned.

Dalkey has also been referred to as a health retreat, served particularly as a sanctuary, a place to rest for the rich during the devastating plagues that affected the cities in 1575 and 1704/1706. Dalkey has been since a seaside holiday resort.

Dalkey quarry in Dalkey Hill, is a very valuable part of the township, served as a very important source for granite needed for the construction of the Dun Laoghaire Harbour during the 1800th century.

Image result for dalkey quarry images

A time when jobs were scarce in Dublin city many men came to work at the quarry to build the iconic Atmospheric railway, open to the public in 1844, and ran from Dalkey quarry to Kingstown, today called Dun Laoghaire.

The lane that once served as a passageway to carry the granite is still open to people as a short-cut to the hill and it even keeps its original name “The Flags “by the residents. Quarry workers brought their families along with them and the raise of people living in Dalkey also prompted to the construction of Coliemore Harbour, the small pier with exceptional views of the island which started being constructed in 1847 and was finished by 1869, St. Patrick’s church 1843, Loreto Abbey, built in 1842, and many other historical residences.

Today

Today Dalkey Hill is part of Killiney Hill Park, a public park popular for walkers and hikers due to its spectacular views over the surrounding areas, overlooking the Wicklow Mountains and captivating sea views on one side, and, Dublin city on the other.

Important personalities such as the novelist George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950, Nobel prize winner who lived in Torca Cottage in Dalkey Hill from 1866 to 1874, or Maeve Binchy who was born in Glanageary Co.Dublin but moved to Dalkey with her family when she was twelve years old, or Hugh Leonard, the Irish playwright, author and journalist, who was born in Dublin in 1926 but lived in Dalkey with his adopted family in Kalafat Lane to name a few whom made their homes in Dalkey.

Many rich and famous, writers, artists or musicians, have homes in this exclusive town.

Today you can spot celebrities such as U2 members Bono and the Edge, singer Enya, former driver Eddie Irvine, film director Neil Jordan, Hollywood actor Matt Damon or even Michelle Obama walking or driving around the town, or even enjoining a pint at one of the many well-known pubs.

However, accommodation in Dalkey is hard to achieve for the middle class as prices for properties, either to rent or buy are exceptionally high. Many people who have been born in Dalkey and whose families have lived here their whole life had no option but to settle in other more affordable areas of Dublin.

Nontheless, Dalkey has been and still is one of the most captivating, charming and beautiful towns in Ireland.

Cyber-bullying

Everybody has heard, lived through or experience some kind of harassment or bullying at some stage in their lives. Being laugh at, an unkind comment, being pushed at a queue or even being spat at can be forms of bullying or harassment causing serious harm to someone’s confidence, especially that of a teenager, who’s confidence is still in the process of being formed, being shaped.

Cyberbullying however is a new method of harassment, a shrewd line of attack, not always subtle but deadly serious because the damaged caused is silenced, spread at an amazing speed throughout social media.

Far too many young girls and boys have been bullied online, leading to extreme cases such as self-harm and even suicide. The failure to prioritize this issue is cause for deep concern.

Harassment, offensive name- calling, spreading of false rumours, sharing of images without consent, physical threats, receiving explicit images are some specific kind of cyberbullying among teens, which can be overwhelming and devastating for a young person.

It’s hard enough for teenagers to understand the world they live in, to understand who they are. They rely on parents, friends and family to guide them but sometimes they also listen to those so-called friends, sometimes without a face, who crush their confidence without remorse, humiliate them for the sake of a laugh, and what is worst, most of the time without even realising the damage inflicted, arguing that, this comments are normal “cos they have done it to me too”.

We must find a way to spread this reality and make more people aware of the situation. Social media platforms must do more to tackle this 21st century predicament. We must find a way to spread the truth about cyber-bullying.

Each government is key to give a solution or even try to resolve this cyberbullying issue, by providing more strict regulations to social media platforms, especially giants such as Facebook, Tweeter, Snapchat, etc. Rich money makers social media platforms who receive constants complaints about incidents within their users causing real harm to others, and do very little to avoid it.

But also, and more importantly we must educate the general public of what is going on, how to avoid it, how to tackle it, especially among children and youngsters, who are the most vulnerable, who are easy to impress, influence and manipulate.

In order to do this, we must start we ourselves, we must show example, as parents, as teachers, as supervisors, as managers, as human beings, we must stop abusive, discourteous and ill-manner treatment to other individuals, no matter who they are.

Bullying, harassment or cyberbullying must stop now. Tolerance is the fundamental key to a better society, thus a better world.

Risk


Risk is taken, unwittingly sometimes, by all of us in our everyday life. We
don’t even realize how many times we take these unimportant decisions
that makes the turnout, for better or for worse.

For instance, a real life risk would be whether to walk the ten minutes pace to work or take the car which will save us a few minutes to spare in other things. We don’t really know the out-turn, anything can happen.

These are the kind of gamble we take constantly in our lives. However, we also tend to consider risks that can be a lot more difficult to deal with, not
in vain, these harder choices can drastically change our lives, decision like
moving to another country or getting married and having children.

Personally, I believe these are our greatest risk-taken choices in our lifetime.

We live in a world surrounded by scary situations, frightful
and dangerous realities alternated with beauty, delicacy and love, exposed
to us by the media around the world, hence the impression of
being safe and sound but also idle and bored.

On the other hand the challenge involved in taking such risks or at best the
lack of it can be also very strong. Seemingly, ‘regret’ is a feeling we try very hard to avoid, yet it’s constantly allusive in our minds.

Certainly, the decisions we take affect our whole existence, changing our
ways as we grow old, given us the maturity and wisdom needed to take
even more risks. After all who said life was easy.

Teenager knows best

She is 15 and thinks she knows everything,. To her eyes there is nothing you can teach her anymore. Friends issues; check, school issues; check, love issues; check, sports, health, whatever; check, check,check. She simply won’t listen to you anymore.

How can I be closer to her again? How can I get her to spend five minutes with mommy like she used to? Where is that little girl who kissed and hugged you every five seconds? I feel like screaming, what have you done to my daughter?

But, I have to be realistic, that little girl is not longer here, instead the bud has opened and it’s flourishing. My little girl has become an independent, self-sufficient, responsible young woman.

I now realize that as a mom there is always something you can show and teach as she gets older even if she is not conscious of it yet. She will, with not doubt about it, follow your steps, but she will also create her own path, a path that will lead to her own children to follow.

Life after death

by Teresa Fernandez

I must have been 5 or 6 years old the first time I saw a dead man, my mum and I were walking through the streets of our neighborhood in Santiago de Chile, although I cannot remember the name of the area, I remember that day very well. 

It was a very hot and stuffy summer’s day, I remember seeing some people coming and going very quietly from this place which l first thought to be a shop, my mum explained to me that it was a wake, she told me that those people were going in to pay their respect to the dead man’s relatives and that so were we.

I had been told about death before but I didn’t expect what I saw. I saw a huge wooden box with an old man inside sleeping or so I thought, he looked so peaceful, his face was serene and placid, almost happy. My mum warned me that I could be frightened, but that there wasn’t anything to be afraid of, she explained that God was minding him, “He is in heaven now, God will look after him” she said softly. But I wasn’t frightened, I was simply curious, If anything I felt sorry for the old women dressed in black crying silently next to the coffin. 

I kept staring at the many people coming and going, leaving all kinds of ornaments, flowers and cards, saying beautiful caring words of condolences to those women sitting around the coffin. There was a large table full of drinks and delicacies to eat, “delicacies”, that’s what my mum called the weird food before me. Even though doors and windows were wide open, a stiff and heavy smell of incense concentrated around the room, the flickering flames on the many candles and soothing music gave the room an overpowering ambiance, at least that is the way I remember it. I was very young but I understood immediately that this old man lying in this box had been loved by many people. 

Many years had passed since, how different it was this time around. I was 17 years old then, my family and I had moved to Spain many years before, It had rained quite a lot since that first time I saw the old  man in the wooden box. This time there was not an old man before me, this time it was a boy, a 16 year old boy.

It was a very sad day for me because this boy was my friend, a friend who I really loved and care for, a friend who I thought to be a beautiful person in so many ways. I was sad, not because he was gone, I was sad, not because he was so young to die, I was sad because there were only a bunch of people at his funeral, just a few friends and some people who were simply there to gossip about how he had lived and how he had died. Yes, I was sad but I was also grateful since I knew that he, my friend, was now in a much better place, that God was going to look after him now. I knew he was going to be just fine, that he would not longer suffer as he had since he was only a small boy. 

But that is another story.

Dealing with your in laws

By Teresa Fernandez

Is not easy to accept, let alone, love your in-laws, unless these are exceptionally kind, thoughtful people and most importantly, do not interfere in your business.

When you marry someone, it is inevitable that your spouse comes automatically attached to their family, their parents, you don´t marry one person, you become married to a whole family. It´s a whole package.

But since you love your spouse, you should also accept all of those who are closest to and loved by your wife/husband with patient, respect and understanding, just as you would expect the same from your partner.

Accepting your in-laws is also your way to prove your love. if you give respect, you will receive respect.

Stress

By Teresa Fernandez

Pressure at work or school, the anxiety generated by the need to make ends meet, to get good grades, to do well in general.


The constant worry for one or more members of our family, creates the
fearsome STRESS. Most people at some stage of their life become
stressed; even children can develop some form of stress in their short
lives, which makes them sullen and irritable.


Stress is somehow spread through people as if were a virus transmission
and given the seriousness of this particular issue is actually proven to be a
great deal of concern for companies as their employees who recognize to be under stress tend to fail to show a befitting level of attentiveness within their roles in their places of work which cost the establishment a massive percentage of economic loss.

Employers are far too condescending to their workforce unwittingly forsaking their own interest, which leads to an unprofitable outcome for their companies.

Therefore, as many employees admit, this kind of behavior reveals,
nothing but a sheer disregard for their own employees.

Admitting having an emotional problem is a real struggle. We push ourselves to be successful as we believe to be capable to achieve
anything we aspire, but when things don’t go the way we had hoped, we
plummet into wretchedness and melancholy involuntarily making it very
hard to recover without help, yet needed more than ever.

Nevertheless, we are a lot stronger than we think but also extremely stern
with ourselves, making even harder to ask or seek help from others. When
we finally find the courage to get the vital support needed to recover, not
only do we manage to improve but we also amend our ways and those closest to us do too.

My baby

By Teresa Fernandez

Is it possible to feel this way about something so small, so delicate, so perfect, so beautiful? Most importantly, I can’t believe this perfect creature is mine. After twelve hours of agonizing pain, feeling my pelvis bone stretching, feeling the need to push while the obstetrician dictates me not to. No one can ever imagine the pain yet the excitement of delivering a baby, your baby.

How can I have lived all my life without this little person that will be, without any doubt the center of my entire life for the rest of my life?

I will not longer live for my own self, my priorities have changed from this moment on. I am no longer one.

I am now certain that my heart and soul have been conquered for the rest of my days. My life has changed. I have become a lioness, ready to defend my new born from any one or anything. Compliant forever to care for this little being with the strength and the determination to give her the best of me.

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